TV

I watch too much TV. I know that I do but I can't seem to stop. I love TV to the point where I think it's an addiction. When I think about going without TV I get nervous. Even though I've done it and it's awesome. It's just so nice to be able to shut my brain off and watch someone else's life. But that's the problem. Our brains were created to constantly work. We are suppose to think all the time. We are suppose to question everything. TV has taught us to accept everything. Everything is fine. Nothing really matters. Just watch another show. 

What a lie!

Everything matters. Every second of every day is important. If we waste it all by sitting in front of the TV we are wasting our lives away. And for what? 

NOTHING!

TV will not rule me anymore. I am going to try as hard as I can to do anything but watch TV. I'm already on my way. A couple of months ago I unhooked the cable in my bedroom and I'm pretty sure we are getting rid of cable all together really soon. I want my life back. I don't want to be ruled by the TV anymore. So I won't. Starting right now I am going to take back control and shut off the TV's rule over me. 

Stagnant

I have been feeling very isolated lately. 

Not isolated as in stuck in one physical place but isolated inside myself. 

I feel trapped in my own mind. 

I don't know how to let it all go and be comfortable in myself again. 

I use to feel alone all the time and I'm starting to feel that way again.

That was a place I always said I would never go again. 

I can feel myself sliding back and I'm terrified. 

I think the problem in that I'm stagnant. I don't do anything.

I go to school and I work and I...what?

I don't ever seem to do anything worthwhile. 

What purpose am I serving? 

In what way am I making the world a better place?

I'm not. 

That's the truth. And it makes me sick.

How can I just do nothing and be okay with it?

I need to go and do something. Even if it's not anything great. 

I just need to do SOMETHING!

A friend

I have to talk to a friend and I don't know how. 

I'm worried for them. 

I see them going down a path that only leads to bad places. 

Most of the time I'm a chicken about these things. I know I should but I don't. I'm hoping by writing it down I will be reminded to do it and then I'll actually do it. 

It's just so complicated. 

I don't have the right words and I'm not very good at this sort of thing. 

I really care about this person and I really don't want to see them get hurt or do something stupid, but I also don't know what to do to help them. 

My heart breaks when I look in their eyes and see the hurt that doesn't go away. 

I feel sick when we are together and I know that he face being presented is fake so no one knows how broken and lonely the real face is. 

How do I approach this situation. 

I have a real passion to help them but I feel very helpless. 

I need to pray more. 

I know God has the answers but sometimes I'm not the best listener. 

I want God to throw the answer in my path so it's impossible to miss. 

God doesn't work like that.

He does everything in his time in his own way. 

Pray that I will have the courage, the right words, and the opportunity to do this really hard, really important thing. 

God help me know what to do and help me to surrender my friend to you because you care more than I ever could. 

Most of all God help my friend. Protect, watch over, and reveal yourself in your perfect timing.

 

What do you think?

So lately I have been wondering what people think of me. 

What is their favorite memory with me, their favorite thing about me, or their least favorite thing about me? 

Would it be okay to ask people or is that not okay? 

I guess I'm probably just searching for compliments; something I used to do a lot but haven't done in a long time. It makes me wonder: why do I want them now? What changed that I suddenly want compliments again. 

Life is so backwards. 

When we are screwed up and insecure people compliment us, which is good and needed, but when we're confident they suddenly stop. Just because I'm not always being down on myself doesn't mean I don't need encouragement. 

Do people find me beautiful or attractive? 

Do people like being around me? 

Do people consider me a life long friend or a for now friend? 

It shouldn't matter what other people think but right now I really want to know.  

Okay with it

So I think I have decided that if I stay single my whole life it will be okay. It hurts like having tacks shoved under your fingernails but...I can do it. I don't know if this is what God wants for me but if it is I am okay with it. I'm going to try as hard as I can to not think about it so much. I'm just going to have friends and that is okay. Friends are one of the most important things in the world. Why shouldn't I be okay with that. I will not however be a creepy old maid with a bunch of cats for a couple of reasons. One I'm allergic  to cats and two, I'm to good for that. I will not be okay with mediocre, I will not settle for less than I deserve. Just because I may not be meant for marriage doesn't mean I' not destined for something great. I will move mountains and change lives. I will be so much more that I think I can be. I'm better than I think. 

Broken

Sometimes people hurt you and they don't even know it. They say something that gashes your heart, or they do something that hurts your soul. Sometimes people forget to keep a promise, or sometimes they choose something else over us. They don't even know that it hurts us, they are just living their lives completely oblivious to all our pain. Lately I have been getting my heart broken. So many people have taken a piece or made a little crack that it's not even close to whole anymore. I'm trying to believe that God is going to put all the pieces back together but it seems impossible. How do you find peace about a situation when the person you need t forgive doesn't even know they did anything? How are you suppose to deal with everything on your own. My heart hurts. I'm being pulled in so many directions by so many different things I'm getting sick. I feel like I'm going to throw up sometimes because of how my life is playing out. I know everyone goes through hard times but it's really hard to be positive when you are in a bad time. I've been doing good for a while now and I forgot how to handle the bad. The hardest part, is everyone sees me as the happy, sweet, together friend. How can I share who I really am without them freaking out and running away. I'm not the person they all think I am. I'm not always happy, I'm tired of being sweet, and I am most certainly not all together. I have really bad days when I lay on my bed and cry. I have days when I want to curse out everyone and everything. I have days when I feel like I'm going to explode and yet I keep it all inside because I believe that people wouldn't be able to handle it if I really did blow up. My heart has been walked on by a lot of people. Some with malice, others in complete innocence. Either way they have hurt me and I have to find a way to forgive them. A task that seems impossible sometimes, but I'm trying none the less. 

cracked heart

So I have realized that I have a broken heart. Not because someone broke it but because over time lots of people have cracked it, or chipped it and it can't hold itself together anymore. Everything seems useless. I don't want to be in relationship with anyone because it hurts too much. No matter how much you love someone or how much they love you, you're going to get hurt. I don't want to get hurt so I'm just not going to do relationship anymore. If I take my heart and hide it away in a chest of ice then no one can hurt it. It will be safe. I'm so afraid of getting hurt that I would rather be alone forever than be hurt for a while. I'm so scared of being alone that I'm going to isolate myself so at least I'll know why I'm alone. I won't have to wonder if people hate me or if I'm constantly screwing up. This is eating away at me to the point that I feel physically sick. I'm done, I give up. I'm broken hearted.

Candles

I love candles. There is something really calming and awesome about candles. They make me feel warm and safe. Lately I have loved sitting in my room at night with no light but a bunch of candles slowly burning away. I read, or listen to music, or play around on my computer. It's really relaxing and helps me forget my stress. Tonight I wanted to be in a completely peaceful environment so bad that I cleaned my room just so I could have it. I have about 8 candles burning and I am loving it. I feel at peace. At least for the moment.  

Eczema

Skin slitting apart, bleeding it seems all the time. 

Crawling with an insatiable itch, skin burning with pain that is ever present. 

Ugly blemishes covering every part of her body. 

Looks ignored, pain accepted, tears held at bay. 

Bruises so deep they may never heal, scars to remain forever. 

Infection stiffening fingers, splitting knuckles, and destroying finger nails. Surfacing on her cheeks, cracking her lips and threatening her eyes. Covered on arms, legs, and torso. No place untouched by this evil. 

She constantly reminds herself to be thankful for what she has and not focus on the bad, but she can't help feeling like this is unfair. What did she do? What could she possibly learn? Hasn't she suffered enough? 

Tears ever threatening but never falling. Held inside so no one knows about the pain that is ripping her apart. 

Ashamed of being seen, embarrassed of leaving her home. People don't say things but she knows they think something. Her fragile self esteem shattered by the ugliness that covers her skin. 

Water burns like fire, heat brings forth pain. Her hand held in another's, screaming in agony but dealing with the pain in silence. Scars on top of other scars. Wounds left open refusing to heal. 

A deep-seated anger buried in her. Fury at God for giving her this vile curse. "Why? Why me? Why won't you take it away?" 

What must be done for her to be free? 

Realization

Do you ever get a realization of something that you thought you already knew?

Lately people that I never would have thought even know who I am have been coming up to me and talking to me and pretty much catching my completely off guard. I have come to realize that people seem to like me. Simple right? But I have never really felt like people actually want to be around me. God has been shoving that in my face and proving me so wrong. I have had three or four people that I was sure didn't really care to know me come up and talk to me and give me hugs. I have had people that I thought didn't care show that they care at least a little. I have had real and internet conversations with people that I don't normally talk to. I have had people call me to do things and be really sad if I can't come. What an awesome feeling it is to be wanted, to be known, and to be loved. I wish I could let everyone feel as special as I feel right now. I was just feeling very alone and upset when God sent three people out of the blue to talk to me on facebook. How awesome is he? Sometimes my realizations are things that I should already know, but who cares? I know them now and that's what counts. People actually like me. Who knew?

lonely

Sometimes I feel the most alone when I am in a group of people. I know everyone feels this way sometimes but I feel like it a lot more than I probably should. I was in a group of three people besides me, and even though I know they all like me I felt really left out and kind of sad. Why do emotions have to be so confusing? Why can't I be brave enough to be honest and show my real feelings to people. I don't think most people know how good of a liar I am. I can make anyone believe that I'm fine when I'm not, that I'm brave when I'm scared, and that I don't mind when I do. I can make anyone feel like it is okay to walk all over me. It's not. Please help me to not be so... whatever I am. I'm sick of this feeling. I know I'm not alone but sometimes I need to be reminded. I need hugs, I need people to reach out when I shy away, and I need people that won't give up on me. I'm trying. Please don't give up on me. 

Sept 11

So tomorrow marks seven years since the twin towers fell. It makes me feel a little strange. I have heard nothing about it from anyone or anything. It's a election year and in all the hype about who and what's coming next I think we have forgotten about what came before. Sept. 11th was the day America was ATTACKED by terrorists and the reason that a war started. This is not a small thing and is not something that should be ignored or played down. Many many good innocent people died that day and to suddenly forget is just wrong. I don't really care how busy you are or what you have going on you should take at least a few minutes and remember what happened on that day and how it has changed our nation. It makes me think of two years ago when I was only a few hours outside of Washington D.C. on the fifth anniversary of the attack. I was hit really hard with the reality of it all. When you see flags in the capital of our nation flying at half mass it's different than when your neighbors flag flying at half mass. I felt connected to the people that died that day and to their families. I promised on that day that even though I didn't know any of them I would never forget them and I intend to keep that promise. I wish it had never happened, but if my kids ask me about it one day I want to be able to tell them the story because I remember. I want to be able to tell them from the bottom of my heart how I felt that day. I don't want it to be some mechanical retelling of a tragedy that took place once that doesn't matter anymore. I want to always remember. Not so that I can be sad forever, or to be better than anyone, but simply to honor the fallen and their families. God bless them all and I promise I will never forget. God help me to NEVER forget!

Patience

Okay I'm going to be really girly right now and let you all know that I have been really lonely lately and somewhat daydreamy about, you guessed it, guys. I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean I go through phases like this sometimes but not usually for this long or this much. It seems like whenever my mind has a free moment it is in some daydream. About simple things though, holding hand, watching the stars together, laughing until our sides hurt, smiling for no reason. You know the little seemingly unimportant things. Like the other day I saw an old couple that had dressed do they would match and I freaked out a little. There was even someone there who could confirm my freaking outness. I even took pictures of this couple because they were so cute. All I could think was one day that could be me. I don't even have a boyfriend. I don't know if I will ever have a boyfriend. If it were up to me I would definitely have one but it is up to God and I would never claim to know what he is going to do. I was feeling a little like this one other time and I HEARD God say; 'Be patient little sister for I have great things planned for you.' I take great comfort from that and it gives me hope. But he didn't actually say I have a great man for you, he said a great plan, they rhyme but they are NOT the same. I guess I will have to keep trusting God and know that whatever the plan is it's going to rule the world. Patience. I just have to be patient. God help me be patient.  

College :0

So going to college makes me feel weird. I don't think that I am old enough. I look around at everyone as I walk the halls and think of how much better and smarter and well prepared they must be. I feel like I am falling a little. I'm doing good and I like my teacher and the work isn't super hard... I guess I just feel like it could be really easy to lose myself and that scares me. I pretty much just started to figure out who I am and now it seems like being at college could take that away. It is so scary to have a professor grade your work and tell you if you are good at something or not. It's hard to balance classes, homework, a job and have a social life. I saw something the other day that said; Good grades, adequate sleep, social life... pick two. (welcome to college.) It is so true. Sad but true. I chose to stay up with a friend the other night even though I had class in the morning and while I don't regret hanging with my friend at all, I just wish it wasn't such a big deal. Right now it seems like taking a year off would have been the better choice. I feel a little overwhelmed and I haven't even had to hand any big assignments or anything in yet. I have to redo something for photography and I had to redo something in Comp as well. I'm grateful that they are letting me redo the assignments but the fact that I have to redo them makes me feel stupid. I feel like I'm failing and it hasn't even been a month. I don't really know what to do. There is so much homework in each class it makes me think the teachers don't know that we are taking more than on class. All I did today was homework. The first thing I did when I woke up was read a textbook, before I even got out of bed, no joke. How sad is that? If anybody has any encouragement or advice PLEASE help me out. I'm freaking out a little and would appreciate the help. 

Why?

So something scary happened in my life the other day.
My mom and I get a call from my brother and he tells us that he was just beat up. I got so mad I could hardly see straight. I wanted to go out and find the person that did it and hurt them. I wouldn't actually but I wanted to pretty bad. Then my brother came home. I promise there is nothing as scary as seeing someone that you love with a swollen arm and a dirty swollen face. He wasn't bleeding and nothning was broken but that didn't really matter. He was hurt, that was enough. I was so upset that I grabbed my ipod and just left. I walked out the door of my house and found a grassy spot to sit a little ways away and cried. I screamed at God, I called a friend and told my story as I was balling my eyes out, and I sat and starred into space. How could this happen? Why?
I hope you never have to experience anything like this and for those of you that know me remember this. No one messes with the people I love. No one. I will do everything in my power to protect you if I can. I love you and I would die for you if I needed to. Always remember that!

Brave

Right now I really want to have a picnic on the bride over the train tracks and talk to a friend. I want to have someone to talk to while sitting in the light of the setting sun, taking bites of food as a train passes under us. I want to have a heart to heart as the stars push their way through the darkness and the temperature slowly falls. Right now this is what I want really bad. Why don't I do it? I don't know who to do it with. My best friend is out of town on an awesome mini vacation and I'm so happy for her. Other than that I don't know who to call. I tried to get ahold of one friend but I don't know what number she is at. Another friend I don't know her schedule and I don't really know if she is the kind of friend that I could just call out of the blue. No I know that she is I'm just not good at calling. My other friend is a guy and while it wouldn't be weird or awkward for me, people could get the wrong idea and it is generally just not a good idea to hang out with guys one on one. I know that I would be fine and we are just friends but as much as they shouldn't be, appearances are a big deal. I really just want to sit on the bridge. I want to make a memory. I want to have an awesome time and I just don't know how to go about doing it. I wish I wasn't such a chicken when it comes to calling people. I wish I was brave enough to call someone and say you are going to come have a picnic with me on the train bridge. I'm just not there yet. Someday, hopefully soon, just not today. Today I let yet another chance slip by. *sigh* Someday I'll be brave, just watch! 

*tear*

So I was at a really pathetic high school football game last night and something very sad happened. I was standing on the sidewalk watching people watch the game. Now there is a really steep hill right behind the sidewalk and a little girl was trying to walk on the incline and she fell. I'm guessing she was around 6-7 years old. There were two boys behind her that were about the same age and after she fell the 6 year old little boy looks at her and says; "What the f... did you do that for." Six years old. I wanted to cry. Why would someone his age even know that word? What are we teaching our kids? I was so sad I didn't even know what to do. My heart broke for him and the fact that he doesn't even know how wrong what he said is. I just needed someone to know this and help me pray for this little boy and all the kids his age. I'm afraid for them and think that we need to ask God for all the help we can get. 

What I love

So I liked making a list of things I had never done so now I want to make a list of things I love. 

So for all of you who have always wondered what does Olivia love? Here you go!

I love...

*God above all else

*Reading books. 

*The smell of books. If you never have you need to fan the pages of a book in front of your face. It is my comfort smell, nothing beats the smell of books.

*Dancing crazy when no one can see. While cooking, in the living room, or in the rain.

*Thunderstorms. WOW!!!!!

*Music. It makes my spirit soar. 

*Paint-by-number. I can't draw the lines but I love coloring the empty spaces between the lines. 

*Movies. I love stories, and a movie is an awesome way of learning a new story, or an old story.

*Pictures. I love taking pictures. I like them enough I'm thinking of doing it for the rest of my life. 

*Singing at the top of my lungs no matter how bad it sounds. 

*Candles. I always love candles. Not the ones that smell bad but, duh!

*Notebooks. I have somewhat of an obsession with this office supplies. I love to open a new notebook and make my first mark with an awesome pen. (By the way, I have never used a whole notebook. It kind of scares me. I'm working on it though.)

*I love fountain pens and quill pens! I love pens in general but these are my favorite. 

*Shoes. I love trying on shoes and owning a lot, but I don't really like to wear them. I'm a barefoot chick. 

*Starbucks with friends. It's amazing by itself but if you add awesome people there's not much that can beat it.

*Playing chess. I'm not good at it and I never get to play but I love it.

*Nature. In my world there is nothing more beautiful than nature. I think nature pictures beat the crap out of every other kind. My only wish is that it liked me more. I have nasty hay fever. Stupid pollen, why must you be so evil?

*My BED!!! I have the best bed in the world. Ask anyone that has ever felt it and they'll tell you. It rules the world. It's the softest ever!

*Playing cards. It doesn't really matter what the game is I just love cards. I don't know how to play poker though. Weird huh?

*I Love to shuffle cards. Maybe more than I like to play cards. I know. Weird.

* Writing. Poetry, fiction, thoughts, even papers. I get a huge high from writing. It is really relaxing to be able to say whatever you want without having to remember everything at once. You can go back and change things, you can start over, you can let other people read it and get feedback. Writing is the best EVER!

*I love my family SOOOO much. They are amazing and have shaped me into the person I am. I am so awesome because of the family God blessed my with. 

*My friends have changed my life, to all of you thank you! You have no idea what a difference you have made. For a long time I had no friends and I really didn't like myself. Because all you awesome people chose to be my friends and showed me that I was okay to be around you turned my life around. You made me see that I was an okay person and people didn't hate me. I don't know what I can say to make you understand how grateful I am. Forever and eternity, THANK YOU!

So everyone that has always wanted to know what I love... now you know. I love life and can't wait to see what it throws me next. Think about what you love and then thank God for all of it. Happy lovely trails to you all!

Sometimes...

Sometimes all I want is a guy to hold my hand, a guy look at me and tell me I'm beautiful, a guy to brush the hair back off my face and know that he really cares. Sometimes it feels like that is something I will never have, sometimes it feels like I am destined to be alone and have to deal. I am the person that is there for others not the one that is cared for. I love being there for my friends, it gives my life an awesome meaning and purpose but, sometimes... Sometimes all I want is what I see my friends have. I have never wanted to go out with a guy just so that I could have a hand to hold. I want it to mean something, and not just something, something big. I want it to matter and last. I want to have a forever love. Someday if it is in Gods plan for me I will. And oh how I want it to be in Gods plan. Sometimes all there is to do is cry and then continue to wait. I go through a stupid cycle of I'm fine by myself, I love being single, to I don't want to be alone, what is wrong with me. Having never had a boyfriend is a thing I'm proud of and a thing that is hard on my self esteem. Like why haven't guys ever been interested? What am I doing wrong? Or is it something I'm doing right? I don't really know what to think. I know God has great things for me, I heard him say it, but sometimes... Sometimes it just seems like the wait could kill me. I just want a hand to hold, a smile to cherish, eyes to lose myself in, a laugh to get carried away by, arms to wrap me in a hug, a shoulder to bury my head in and drain my tears, fingers to play with my hair, and a heart full of love. God says patience and as another tear slides down my face I say 'okay daddy. Will you help me?' 

Saved

A dagger thrown with the glance of an eye

a sword unsheathed with the heave of a sigh

unspoken words hang overhead

I'm crushed and abused by the things we never said

all the silent tears I've cried 

all the failures I've tried to hide

have left in me a gaping hole

what's one more piece from a broken soul

How can I keep up the fight

when everything is wrong that use to be right

how can I rise up from these ashes

how long before I'm healed of my gashes

one more day or ten more years

when will I be set free from these fears

How long will it take to forget what you said

how ling before your lies are cleared out of my head

every time I forgave and let you start new

you took my fears and proved them to be true

You taught me how to deal with rejection

I've become a master of friendship selection

no one who pries or wants to know 

someone who'll smile and put on a show

someone who tries hard not to be known

someone who'll leave my fragile soul alone

But then I met someone who actually cares

who takes on himself my burdens and ware

someone who'll love me no matter the wrong

and when I am weak someone who is strong

I found someone that I could believe in

someone who'll forgive me of my sin

He searched and he found the pieces of my soul

and thanks to this someone I'm being made whole

no more standing on the outside feeling alone

no more wishing in vain to truly be known 

I can now rise up and proudly proclaim

I was saved by this someone and Jesus is his name

Sick and tired

I have been sick for two weeks now and I am so beyond ready to be done with all of this crap. My life has been so busy that my body has finally given up the fight and gone on strike. I am exhausted. I don't know how people with really busy lifestyles do it. I had a few busy months and it almost killed me. 

Anyways, I started college and I think it's going to be good. I am nervous that there will be a lot of homework and I will be overwhelmed and super busy again but I'm trusting God to get me through it. Everybody tells me I'll do great and I'll have fun but I don't think they know how hard I can be on myself. I take the saying, you are your own worst critic to a whole new level. And being as exhausted as I am doesn't help. I'm only in three classes so it shouldn't be too bad but you never know. Hearing about all of the stuff I'm going to have to do over the semester all at once is kind of hard to deal with. In Comp 2 I have to write 3 big essays and do what the teacher labeled a LOT of small projects and papers. In sing language I'm going to have to go to two deaf events, make a video of me signing, take a quiz every day, and take all the tests and exams. Did I mention that it's a no speaking class. The teacher is deaf and as a rule at Kirkwood you are not allowed to use spoken english in the classroom at all. Not to others or even yourself. Then in photography there is a crapload of stuff that I'm going to have to do. On the very first day we were given a partner and told to do a power point presentation on a certain aspect of photography. 

Don't get me wrong I'm really excited. It's just that I'm sick, and exhausted which feeds my nervousness and makes me freak out a little. God is bigger than all of my problems though and with him I can do anything. 

Dream it and it will come true.

People tell you to dream big and never stop believing and you will get what you dreamed. My question is, what if your dreams are impossible? What if you want to be a wizard, or what if your dream is to have a celebrity fall in love with you? What if you want to live in a book.? What if you want to talk to Elvis? What if the thing you want most in the world is to see a dead loved one again? What about those dreams? Do they just not count as dreams? Do we give them the title of fantasy instead? Not that it matters but I was just thinking of all the crazy dreams I have and all the impossible things that I wish would happen and wonder if they are different from the dreams that people are talking about when they tell you to 'follow your dreams'? It seems we are only suppose to dream about sensible things that can be used. Doesn't that kind of negate the point of dreaming? Our dreams are suppose to be the one place where anything can happen. The place where I can talk to Frodo, and write a bestselling novel, and find my soulmate in a famous man. The place where rules don't apply, the place where I can fly if I want to and no one is going to tell me how crazy I am. My dreams are the place where I get to be who I really am. No filters, no lies, no limits. I for one am going to continue to dream the impossible and no matter how many people tell me that I'm crazy I'm going to keep believing that my dreams can come true no matter how impossible. And who knows, maybe one day they will.

Things I've never done

So I was just thinking about common things that people my age have done that I never have and thought I would share them. 

Now just because I have never done these things doesn't mean I want to. Some I do, some I don't, you'll have to see if you can figure out which is which.

I have never...

Gone to or been asked to go to a dance.

Been on a date.

Had a boyfriend.

Been kissed.

Smoked anything.

Tasted alcohol.

Been out of the country.

Dyed my hair.

Been pulled over.

Been in a car accident.

Been to a public high school.

Lived away from home.

Had food poisoning.

Caught on fire.

Fallen out of a tree.

Broken into a pool after hours.

Been able to do a cartwheel.

Played the guitar.

Been to Disneyland or Disney world.

Swam in the ocean.

Been bit by a dog.

Done drugs of any kind.

I'm sure the list could continue for a while but right now I have run out of things. So now you know some of the things I have never done. Some I wish I would have or hope I will do, others I'm glad haven't happened and hope they don't. If you really want to know ask me and I'll tell you, otherwise you'll have to just guess. 

My week

I have had a really weird week. 

I was in my best friends wedding last weekend and it was AMAZING!  

The thing is, the day after the wedding I had to say goodbye to all my friends that are going to college and I got sick. 

The next day my family and I went on vacation... while I'm sick. 

I haven't been able to do quite a few things while on vacation since I've been sick. Then the day that I started to feel better I went swimming with my mom and my aunt and while getting something that had fallen out of the pool I got stung by a bee. I never knew it could hurt that much. 

On top of all of that I have a nasty sunburn all over my back and my shoulders. 

As if that wasn't enough I was just trying to read my book and I spilled my tea all over my bed. It soaked my pillow, the sheets, and got on my book. 

All of this at a strange house where I don't know where anything is. 

Needless to say I am frustrated. I kind of feel like screaming but people are sleeping. Oh how I wish life was easy. HA. That's a good one. 

Anyhow I was asked the other day if I blogged and this seemed like a good time to start. I know not a lot of people are going to read this and at the moment it's just me venting but that's okay. I promise I will add other better things later but right now I really just needed to vent and this helped. Thank you for asking if I blogged!!!!!