Broken

Sometimes people hurt you and they don't even know it. They say something that gashes your heart, or they do something that hurts your soul. Sometimes people forget to keep a promise, or sometimes they choose something else over us. They don't even know that it hurts us, they are just living their lives completely oblivious to all our pain. Lately I have been getting my heart broken. So many people have taken a piece or made a little crack that it's not even close to whole anymore. I'm trying to believe that God is going to put all the pieces back together but it seems impossible. How do you find peace about a situation when the person you need t forgive doesn't even know they did anything? How are you suppose to deal with everything on your own. My heart hurts. I'm being pulled in so many directions by so many different things I'm getting sick. I feel like I'm going to throw up sometimes because of how my life is playing out. I know everyone goes through hard times but it's really hard to be positive when you are in a bad time. I've been doing good for a while now and I forgot how to handle the bad. The hardest part, is everyone sees me as the happy, sweet, together friend. How can I share who I really am without them freaking out and running away. I'm not the person they all think I am. I'm not always happy, I'm tired of being sweet, and I am most certainly not all together. I have really bad days when I lay on my bed and cry. I have days when I want to curse out everyone and everything. I have days when I feel like I'm going to explode and yet I keep it all inside because I believe that people wouldn't be able to handle it if I really did blow up. My heart has been walked on by a lot of people. Some with malice, others in complete innocence. Either way they have hurt me and I have to find a way to forgive them. A task that seems impossible sometimes, but I'm trying none the less.