Brave

Right now I really want to have a picnic on the bride over the train tracks and talk to a friend. I want to have someone to talk to while sitting in the light of the setting sun, taking bites of food as a train passes under us. I want to have a heart to heart as the stars push their way through the darkness and the temperature slowly falls. Right now this is what I want really bad. Why don't I do it? I don't know who to do it with. My best friend is out of town on an awesome mini vacation and I'm so happy for her. Other than that I don't know who to call. I tried to get ahold of one friend but I don't know what number she is at. Another friend I don't know her schedule and I don't really know if she is the kind of friend that I could just call out of the blue. No I know that she is I'm just not good at calling. My other friend is a guy and while it wouldn't be weird or awkward for me, people could get the wrong idea and it is generally just not a good idea to hang out with guys one on one. I know that I would be fine and we are just friends but as much as they shouldn't be, appearances are a big deal. I really just want to sit on the bridge. I want to make a memory. I want to have an awesome time and I just don't know how to go about doing it. I wish I wasn't such a chicken when it comes to calling people. I wish I was brave enough to call someone and say you are going to come have a picnic with me on the train bridge. I'm just not there yet. Someday, hopefully soon, just not today. Today I let yet another chance slip by. *sigh* Someday I'll be brave, just watch!